The Life Seeker is a series where we try finding the definition of life in simple inanimate objects. No, this is not serious philosophy. This is a simple experiment through the eyes of a sucker for meaning.
So I have this funda which comes around every 2 months. It Involves crying and stuff, but I have learnt it’s mandatory.
Our mind needs a scapegoat, something to blame it’s own inefficiency on. For me, it’s my cupboard. It’s never too clean it’s never too dirty, it just is. I get this urge to remove it all out and clean it. It’s symbolic to cleaning my life, organizing myself with a deep intuition that cleaning the cupboard will clean my life. Here’s the thing, it never works. It’s back to what it is, not to clean, not too dirty. It’ll just be as is it. The Moment I feel lost I clean it out and suddenly I am slightly found. It lies in the dust and clothes. There’s this feeling that it’s not as bad as you think it is and you can make it good.
Everyone has their cupboard.
For few, it’s an ice cream box in the freezer.
For some, a project they started which they’ll now either throw or end.
That one show which you want to binge.
That book you never end up finishing.
The boyfriend you need to dump.
That run you need to make.
That tedious chore you’ve just been leaving out since ages.
Texting a friend who you’ll get tired of texting in a while.
That vacation which never happens.
That creaky door which you always wanted to mend on a Sunday.
Calling the “Hey let’s catch up” beer buddy.
Or that fuck buddy you forgot.
You think it makes you better. But guess what? It doesn’t. Doing it just leaves it as it is, not too dirty not too clean until you get that urge again. What’s your cupboard?